Today, Kevin and I celebrate three years of marriage! It’s our octave+ of anniversaries continued. May 22nd, he asked me out. May 27th, he proposed. May 30th, we got married. June 1st was our first date. A great time of year!
What a gift it is to be married to Kevin. I recently have read a couple of articles talking about how things usually tense up by year four of marriage for a variety of reasons, and that these hardships are often the cause of so many problems and divorces by the infamous year seven. Now, I’m not naive enough to think that life going forward will always be easy. But, we’ve actually had a good deal of hardships in our first three years. We remarked the other day that we never really had a “honeymoon period,” with the exception of our actual honeymoon.
We never had that totally romanticized period where we just saw everything through a rose-colored lens. I don’t think we’ve had that since our first six months of dating. We’ve had ups and downs, and some of those downs have been darker than I ever thought we could experience. But through God’s grace, every single low has brought growth. And we’ve moved into a place of greater joy. What has always been present in our marriage is a conviction that this Vocation, this marriage we have, is God’s will and it is authentically good.
I like to think that I had a good sense of the person Kevin was back in our early days of dating. Many of those qualities that first attracted me to him are still thriving today – his wit, his wonder, his wisdom (accidental alliteration). But because I know him better, I can appreciate these qualities even more.
A good friend of mine recently commented, “you guys seem to know how to have fun together – that’s important.” By fun, he didn’t mean things like brewery tours, drinks out at a bar, concerts and shows, etc. What he was referring to, though, was doing very simple things, with laughter and smiles. And it’s true. That’s something I’ve come to realize only in the past year. We don’t have all the money in the world to do all the things, but that’s totally fine. For instance, one of our favorite pastimes is simply going for walks together. No matter what kind of state we’re in – peaceful, annoyed, giddy, melancholic – walking brings us to a good marital place. Solvitur Ambulando – it is solved by walking. The wisdom of St. Augustine.
I continue to enjoy being married to him more and more. There’s so much to be grateful for, so much to say about his character, about the fruits of our marriage. I just love him. And I’m incredibly excited for year four. I’m pretty certain t’s gonna be a good one.